I’ve been thinking about confidence lately.. so here’s a post for you (:
Confidence in your personal life vs. your work life/professional life/career life/whatever you want to call it, can be completely different. It has been at times for me – it ebs and flows depending on what’s going on in life. I’ve always felt that I was a very confident person who was secure in myself and in my decisions, however some personal life shifts and challenges definitely have had me second guessing.
In my career life, I’ve always felt comfortable shooting my shot, because what’s the worst that could happen? I get a no and I stay exactly where I currently am, then try again at the next opportunity. I recently saw an Instagram reel I loved that said:
“The Universe never says “no” either it’s a “yes”, a “not yet” or a “something better is on its way.” So if something is not going as planned or is not going the way you had envisioned or expected and you feel like you’ve hit a wall, remind yourself that when things don’t workout there is always a reason for it. Life doesn’t always make sense when we are in the thick of things.”
I love this idea and it’s actually helped give me confidence to keep trying new things because what’s meant to work out will, and I just have to keep going and keep trying. I’ll continue to shoot my shot, such as putting in speaking proposals for conferences, because if I don’t try and put myself out there then my chances of it happening are 0. When faced with putting myself out there for something that feels scary I just think to myself – what are the amazing things that could come of this? Is speed important here? If I wait on it does it decrease my chances of it happening? I try and do a quick scan of the environment and gut check, and then move forward with a decision!
I realized that it’s easier to go for it in my work life because my career isn’t my identity (been working on this one a ton over the past 6 months). If a career coaching client doesn’t want to work with me, it’s okay. It’s nothing personal and there are more clients out there for me. I know I’m doing my best and staying true to myself, and if it’s not what someone else wants at the time, that is okay! I’m able to make decisions and move forward because I know I’m good at what I do, and I’m willing to try new things because I know I have the creativity, knowledge and credibility to back it up. I think all of us make the best decisions we can with the information and brain power we have at the time.
In my personal life, it definitely hurts more to shoot and fail when it’s something you really wanted for yourself. I’ve talked to so many friends lately going through the house hunt or dating scene. It’s fierce out there! I know easier said than done, but when things don’t go as you planned, it’s not personal and the universe has another plan for you that’s even better. If you trust and believe in that, then you’re more likely to attract it. I’ve seen this in play for me and know it’s true. ❤ On the flip side, I’ve also made some “wrong” decisions over the past year, where things did go as planned based on the decision I made, and it turns out I wasn’t happy with that. I’ve had to take responsibility and work to come back from those (in some cases people deserved apologies) and create a new outcome.
If I feel rejected by a friend I really care about, or a situation didn’t go how I planned it, or I didn’t feel the way I had hoped from my decision, it feels more personal and hard to bounce back from. I feel like it impacts my self worth and self trust more easily. I know this has lead me to the inability to make decisions sometimes because the consequences seem to hurt so much more. Impostor syndrome can come out in these situations, which reminds me of a blog post I created years ago on how I combat impostor syndrome! Check it out here.
In the end I remind myself that there are typically so many external factors at play that I can’t always control, but what I can control is the action I take and the response I have to what happens.
So, I’m going to continue telling myself to be bold and take chances. Another thing I’ve found really important in my journey is to tell the people in my life what I want! In certain rooms and meetings, I’ll bring up that I want to do more speaking engagements for example. Then those folks know to contact me with opportunities, and they have! In the end, in the wise words of Cory Allen, “peace is accepting that everything changes.” The best I can do is shoot my shot, make good decisions, and accept responsibility for my actions. I love the idea of bringing your boldest self to your greatest challenges. What would your boldest self do in that hard situation whether it’s personal or professional? Try and find your 20 seconds of courage and go for it. The more chances I take, the easier it gets to go for it next time, no matter the outcome. ❤
This felt good to get down, and like most of my posts, I come back and read them again at a later date because I need the reminders for myself! I hope this helped you too. If you’re at a career related cross roads, or have something you want to go for, feel free to reach out to me and run it by me! My specialty is helping people boldly take control of their careers and move forward. Happy Friday friends, and I’ll see you back here on the blog soon!
Claire is Coaching 